Trying to deal with the ex

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JeanJeanie_LM
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Joined: 18/02/2011 - 17:35
Posts: 44
Trying to deal with the ex

Scenario in brief - we have a 50:50 shared residence arrangement , week on/week off, (as I think I've mentioned before Smile) for DD (7), not court ordered, which for two years or so has worked fine. Ex recently moved over 20 miles away, and now is not allowing her to do any extra-curricular activities that come up as they're "not convenient" for him. The latest example is that she is very keen to do gymnastics, which I mentioned to him. He wasn't happy about it, saying she already has two extra-curricular activities a week, one on Mondays and one on Tuesdays (with him). I said I would do some research and get back to him. Bearing in mind how keen DD is, I searched for a club that had classes on Fridays, thinking that a non-school night would cover it. An opportunity for an assessment came up expectedly quickly, and she did very well indeed, being put at a higher level than I expected.
I emailed ex, explaining everything, times, location (not far from her school), offered to help out getting her there on his weeks, but he's told me it's not going to happen because it's far too inconvenient for him. I tried to explain that it's something she particularly wants, and is very keen to do, but he wouldn't even listen to me.

Am I wrong in thinking that he's being unreasonable on several levels? Firstly, he chose to move more than 45 minutes drive away. Secondly, shouldn't he be trying to promote the things she wants to do? Isn't that part of parenting? I can't help feeling he shouldn't be saying that an activity she wants to pursue is inconvenient, but in fact he should be actively supporting her development.

And what should I do next, bearing in mind the club isn't able to support DD only coming fortnightly as they have a waiting list (which they were prepared to jump her to the top of in view of her aptitude)?

Any feedback would be much appreciated.