'Sexing up' the Classics!



Devotees of Jane Austen or  the Bronte sisters may wish to loosen their corsets and have the smelling salts within reach.

Some of the greatest works of English literature have been controversially ‘sexed up’ for the 21st century.

Following the success of erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, one enterprising publisher has given classics such as Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights a bawdy makeover

The existing texts have been interspersed with more racy scenes – some in toe-curling language that would surely have made the original authors blush.

Other titles to be published in the Clandestine Classics collection include Austen’s Northanger Abbey, Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories featuring Sherlock Holmes and Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

The announcement comes after ‘mummy porn’ novel Fifty Shades of Grey became the fastest-selling book of the year, making author EL James an estimated £6.5million in book sales and film rights.

However, Jane Eyre fans who are content with the protagonist revealing little more than ‘Reader, I married him’ in the final chapter of the original might be less  than impressed to discover that she has ‘explosive sex with Mr Rochester’ in the publisher’s erotic version.

In Wuthering Heights, meanwhile, heroine Catherine Earnshaw ‘enjoys bondage sessions’ with Heathcliff, while sleuth Sherlock Holmes has a sexual relationship with his sidekick Dr Watson in the updated edition.

Good idea or bad?

Personally I hate the thought!!

They sound tacky in the extreme!  Although DD might be persuaded to read her English Lit GCSE texts if she had the "sexed up" versions!

They sound pathetic to me, and hardly original - p0rno versions of classics have been floating around t he depths of the web since the early days. If you want to read Regency-era p0rn, go and buy it, but don't stick some bonking into Pride and Prejudice and pretend its somehow 'updated for the 50 Shades generation'.

And anyway, 50 Shades is hardly p0rn - its mildly salacious bumf for the prudish, jsut like Twilight was a vampire novel for people who were scared of vampires and frowned on sex before marriage. .

It's SO wrong.

IMO it shows that the person bastardising these texts must believe that the readers have completely NO imagination.

It's the hint of what might have happened that gives the classics the power that they have - Lady Chatterley's Lover was banned because it alluded to, hinted at, but never mentioned anal sex. So much more powerful than some crass wannabe writer talking about throbbing elections or bondage sessions!

Throbbing elections?  I don't think I've experienced one of those.:P

I do agree Kom, this is why when you watch a film of a book it never matches up to what you imagine when you read it!

I went to a throbbing election once. It was most unpleasant.

Ha brilliant, David Cameron deserves to be shot in his throbbing election. 

Agree completely with Kom; why sex-up books which are already bloody marvellous as they are? The whole point of classics is that they are books which have stood the test of time and been enjoyed generation after generation. Jane Austen's works won't become any more romantic or wonderful for shoving Mr Darcy's hand inside Elizabeth Bennet's lacey granny pants. 

And don't you find that written, (or indeed visual) representations of sex can be rather cliched and repetitive anyway? Danielle Steele, anyone? LMAO) Sex isn't really a spectator sport is it? I mean you do really have to be there.

And it's always so jolly unrealistic, anyway. Does one have coherent deep and meaningfuls analysing one's feelings/ relationship/the meaning of life whilst simultaneously swinging from the chandeliers to which one is tied with fresh snake skins, alongside one's best mate Noreen from down the road? One does not. One grunts and moans and breathes a lot and sounds rather like a cow in labour, tries not to wake the kids. and has the occasional guilty thought about Brad Pitt in a wetsuit (not me, BP doesn't float my boat!) And usually thoroughly enjoys the experience but occasionally finds it a bit tedious and has half a mind on whether the casserole in the slow cooker is burning or not.

I don't think I would have found JE any less tedious if the last chapter had involved lots of sex. It would have just been a bit odd.

Actual porn is different, you expect it to be unrealistic then, you don't expect a storyline, you don't expect characters you actually relate to, you expect a lot of banging! LOL!

 I'm nearly wetting my lacey granny pants reading the last few posts.:))