Discussing contraception.

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Christiesgal's picture
Joined: 29/07/2011 - 13:46
Posts: 11233
Discussing contraception.

Last night I went in my youngests room to borrow her laptop and saw a contraception leaflet on her bed amongst a pile of other stuff, it was about the combined pill and had a telephone number hand written on it (an 0845 number, so an advice or family planning clinic number do you think?)

Anyway, I was a bit taken aback. She doesn't have a steady boyfriend although she's a couple earlier this year, none lasting longer than a couple of months though.

I don't know whether or not to raise the matter with her. Is it any of my business? If I say I saw it I'm worried she'll think I was snooping (I wasn't - here room is a health hazard so rarely venture in!)

She will be 17 in December.

ursh x

JacquiL's picture
Joined: 26/11/2009 - 11:56
Posts: 25845

Just mention it casually in passing. Say something like I went into your room to borrow your laptop, saw the leaflet I'm here if you want to talk.

OliversArmy's picture
Joined: 26/11/2009 - 13:45
Posts: 12082

I'm with Jac; be open that you saw it and just let her know you can offer help/advice without judgement if she needs it.

My mum was dreadful about that stuff and I had to ask my much older and cooler sister. It sucked. I'd have much rather had a mum I could talk to.

xxJaneyxx's picture
Joined: 25/07/2011 - 14:19
Posts: 7072

Could she want the pill to help with her periods rather than the contraceptive use do you think?

Corris's picture
Joined: 25/07/2011 - 14:18
Posts: 8443

See I'd say nothing. nearly 17 - she gets to make choices.

If she had a boyfriend I'd just ask if they were having sex if I wanted to know - or ask if she was using contraception............ but if she hasn't, I wouldn't say I'd seen a leaflet.

Chances are they were handed out somewhere and the 0845 number was something she saw on facebook to get free nail polish or something Smile

You may have two, but you definitely don't have the other two - and I don't see how going up to her and saying four will solve anything.

What would you want to achieve? A conversation on contraception? give it a week and ask her. Bring it up - but don't mention the leaflet.

Leeds's picture
Joined: 26/11/2009 - 09:37
Posts: 8585

I'm with Corris. I wouldn't say anything at all.

Kismet's picture
Joined: 26/11/2009 - 16:52
Posts: 5919

I would have said something when OD was that age and still would tbh. My take on it is whilst they are legally old enough at 16 if they still live under our roofs a relationship with sex is very different to one without and, therefore, on an emotional level there is a massive shift or maybe not!lol But anyhow I have asked OD in the past to tell me if and when she is sexually active for this reason. Maybe it's because of her issues that I am more aware of how she may be affected by the emotions of a physical relationship? Anyway, I would mention it but in a tactful way and casual way rather than make a big deal eg, does she need any advice, help, guidance etc. If it helps my OD is on the pill but purely to help her with bad skin and period pain.


Christiesgal's picture
Joined: 29/07/2011 - 13:46
Posts: 11233

Quick update, I took your advice Corris and left it a few days and then asked if she was seeing anyone, she said no and it doesn't appear that she is.   If she'd said yes I would have mentioned it further but for the time being I'm not saying anything else.   Perhaps it just was a leaflet she'd got from somewhere. 

ursh x


It is necessary to discuss on teenagers about contraception specially when you know that they are sexually active its not just that though. But as a parent we need to tell them about the dangers and possible risks about having sex. As much as possible, they need to be told so that they can visualize and reflect on their actions.


I think in your situation you have done the right thing, you know your daughter after all.. In other situations then maybe a parent should step in, in our house I would have asked but I have boys and they are very open with us and wouldnt have found my question odd.