double trouble

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clas
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Joined: 18/01/2009 - 22:03
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double trouble

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, and whenever I went out and about with the babies people joked ' double trouble, eh?' I used to defend them angriliy, 'no, double cuddles'. Noone would joke about it now. Two two year olds has been doing my head for months. They're only a month off 3 and there's no sign of any let up. They've just switched places on the naughtiest scale. T1 is sooooo defiant and stubborn and expasterating I find it hard not to lose it with her almost every day. T2 is starting to understand reward strategies etc. T1 just screams louder if you put on her on the naughty step and nothing will make her do what you want if she doesn't want to...
I've always hated the tv but lately I've been using it as a bribe and at least they're quiet when it's on and it's better than yelling at them...
Anyone got any better strategies for dealing with two? (And, yes, I do think it's because there's 2 of them, individually they are quite manageable!)

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xxJaneyxx
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Joined: 25/07/2011 - 14:19
Posts: 7000

Hello and welcome to the group.

I have twin nephews, but they are 21 now! My two have a two year age gap, but I'd agree with them being worse together - divide and conquer! lol.

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OliversArmy
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Joined: 26/11/2009 - 13:45
Posts: 12106

Not a single clue, but lots of sympathy cos it must be so much harder.

Have you tried instant rewards? I keep a big jar filled with fifty pee tat from the pound shop, anything from whoopee cushions to lollies to little plastic cars, and every time he earns a star on his chart I let him pick one item from the jar. The star chart he has is a really basic one from ELC and he's responded very well to it.

Also, instead of using naughty corner (he refused to stay put after the age of 3 and I'd find myself spending 45 minutes putting him back into time out over and over, so I started to remove whatever toy he was misbehaving with - so if he was playing shops I'd remove the shop, or with playdoh I'd take it away and explain why, and that he could have it back the following day.

Do your twins go to playgroup or nursery yet? And do you have friends with children who you could meet at an indoor soft play area once a week so the twins can run off some of their steam? I know it may not apply but with Olly I've come to think he;s half child half puppy - he needs fresh air and walkies every day, without it he's a monster, so we go walking through the woods collecting leaves and twigs, then once we're home we stick and glue them.

And don't feel guilty about bribing them with the telly, I don't know a single parent who doesn't use the tv as a bribe at some point. So long as they do plenty of other activities a little bit of chill out time in front of the tv is good for them and bliss for you while you have a peaceful cuppa before it all starts again. Hope things start to improve soon, it's a hard age with one child let alone two. And I promise that once they start to understand more and reason with you, it will get better.

shazzersere
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Joined: 26/11/2009 - 16:28
Posts: 3416

you have my sympathy luv,im finding it bad enough with one monkey with the terible twos let alone two, cant say i have any advice for you,it will come to an end eventually,there is a light at the end of the tunnel even though it doesnt feel like it!

i soooo hate shopping these days,i used to love shopping,now i zip in and out as fast as i can,its a nightmare!

clas
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Joined: 18/01/2009 - 22:03
Posts: 4

hey thanks everyone, sometimes you just need to rant, eh? pound shop stuff is a good one - I'll try that. we've been doing chocolates for staying in their own beds all night which is probably not ideal (!!) but you can't fit 2 adults and 3 kids in one bed!
divide and conquer is good too - my new weekend strategy is pretend we're two families instead of one, and do two separate outings/activities. May miss the OH though!
my boy is definitely like a puppy i can so relate to that! even when he was a crawler he played fetch and carried things in his mouth. he still plays, eats, runs and everything like a puppy and loves walkies and sticks! somehow that's easier to manage than the other...
my eldest was good as gold and we thought we were so clever... little did we know that was just her, not us! Smile
how do you all handle refusal to get dressed / shoes on / in the car etc when you're late for school/work/whatever??

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Fredd
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Joined: 26/11/2009 - 13:44
Posts: 11395

Take them in their PJs with a bag of clothes, if necessary! Carry to the car, fasten down, then put shoes on where they can't wriggle.

Otherwise make it a race, make it fun, tickle lots - a few games added in often makes things go faster than head-on confrontation.

Give choice of clothes, pretend to put things on the worng place (your head, socks on their hands) so they collapse in giggles and show you where to put things..

With older ones, stars for getting ready nicely can work a treat, but not until at least 3 1/2.

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OliversArmy
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Joined: 26/11/2009 - 13:45
Posts: 12106

Yep I've taken Olly to nursery and left him there once in his pj's when he refused to get dressed. He never played up like that again (although he does find other ways to nark me).

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Christiesgal
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Joined: 29/07/2011 - 13:46
Posts: 11125

Hello there, welcome to the site. Mine are well past toddler stage (thank goodness :> ) but glad to see you've had some excellent advice already. Hang on in there! Before you know it they'll be onto the next frustrating stage.

ursh x

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ElectronBlue
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Joined: 27/07/2011 - 10:11
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hiya and welcome

Hopeful
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Joined: 02/12/2009 - 19:00
Posts: 6370

I've a 20 month old dd (whos mad and into everything) an 8 month old ys who's getting into everything, they can fight the piece out and together they're a handful (so much so I can't wait to get back to work next month for a break lol). definitely divide and conquer is my advice, OH takes dd out and it makes things so much easier, dd loves going with her dad and the ys is so easy to handle.

Good luck hun, fingers crossed for some peace for you x

Susannah8002

My twins are 11 now and I was lucky I suppose that when they were small one would act up and the other would be as good as gold - still do to some extent! But yes twins can be extremely trying! My pair were very quiet as youngsters - wouldn't talk unless they had to and that's not good either. Now they do talk but are extremely quiet at school which is a huge problem so although you have your hands full now (and you have my complete sympathy) at least they will stick up for themselves when they go to school and not be easy targets which mine are sadly.

I found that even stickers worked with my son - he used to love to chose one every time he did something I liked - good behaviour, getting dressed, being quiet when I was on the phone etc....

Best of luck. Remember - they won't be toddlers forever, they soon grow up.

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