My EDs has recently been diagnosed with Dyslexia and mild ADHD and I was wondering if anyone else on the forum has experience of this as at this moment I feel like about the worst mother in the world.
TheSchoolRun
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I don't have parenting experience of this, but I have dyslexia, ADHD (inattentive type) and also dyscalculia myself... don't know what to advise right now, but don't feel bad, you're a great mother, I didn't get diagnosed with anything while at school just stuggled on constantly being labelled as lazy, not trying etc. My parents didn't know anything about these things, or how to help, I guess back then (all those many years ago LOL) people just didn't know about these things!
It's just a name for a collection of needs love- it isn't about your parenting ONE BIT- honestly it isn't. You can't cause ADHD or dyslexia byt substandard parenting, so don't you go thinking it!
The good thing is that you now have a name for certain needs and behaviours and you can start thinkng of how best to help. And fortunately there's articles right here on MyChild, as well as a thriving Autism and Aspergers forum- don't be put off by the name, it's for adhd as well and dyslexia. And web wide there's a whole lot more when you are ready to look xxx
Thanks for that I have been on his back regarding his writing for about a year now and it has slowly improved but I think I would have been much more patient with him if I'd known he wasn't being lazy. It has taken a year for them to take me seriously regarding his difficulties with reading and writing because he's so bright at everything else. I have to say the ADHD took me by surprise as I just thought he was being a pesky 8 year old LOL.
Thanks for your reply dhakiyya do you think it has prevented you from seeing your true potential? If you had been diagnosed earlier do you think it would have helped? and has it got easier over the years to work around the problems?
Sorry lot of questions I know my head is whirling a bit now.
Karen
When I was diagnosed the ed psych told me that if I'd had the right help/support in school I should have got straight A's and gone to Oxford or Cambridge... this was after leaving school with mediocre grades really low self esteem and feeling that I was uneducatable........ so definitely I think early diagnosis would have made a big difference........ the diagnosis spurred me on to go to university, there was an excellent learning support unit there and the lecturers were all well clued up about specific learning difficulties and lots of things they did helped, as well as the learning support unit..... so in the end I got a 2:1 which I was really
about.
Many of the problems have become easier, for example when I was diagnosed I couldn't read adult level books..... recently I read the whole of the Hobbit and I'm now starting on Lord of the Rings
it's quite funny cause my husband (who did go to Cambridge!) read those books at a ridiculously young age like 6 or something LOL - there's lots of things I still can't do, or do very well, but I have ways of getting around them or doing stuff/learning things in ways that suits how my brain is wired up. Plus being patient with myself and doing things at my own pace.
Thats really interesting dhakiyya and impressive a 2.1!
DH and I will do everything in our power to make sure he sees his potential and really importantly that he doesn't loose his self esteem. How frustrating it must be to see all your friends writing so much with so much ease.
We have a meeting next week with Senco so we will wait to see if the school will help or not.
Beth thankyou so much for your kind words, they arrived at just the right moment.
I didn't know the A and A section dealt with dyslexia too.
Karen
A&A deals with just about EVERYTHING LoL.
Partly cos so many of our children present with a 'mixture-muxture' of issues.
Glad your getting some good advice here = how are you feeling about the DX ?
Kind of surprised and not surprised, we have thought for a long time that something was wrong but he was not failing as such in school. So we were not taken very seriously. I feel sad that we didn't persue this more aggressively at yr 2. We decided to teach him how to read read with Peter and Jane books against the schools advice because he clearly had made no progress from yr R. This fortunately worked for us and he loves reading now (although a bit innacurately). If we had followed the schools lead he would not be able to read at all I am sure of this. It was like he was going backwards yr1 was less than yrR.
I'm sad because I know life will be more difficult for him at an age where you don't want to be different. No parent wants this. I just feel so sad and I'M NOT SURE WHY, I feel irrationally that I have failed at some level, maybie it's just a bit early for me and I haven't sorted my feelings out properly............Polly you asked the right question.
MammaK it's only natural to feel like that, it takes time to come to terms that your child has something over which you have no control.
Mammak,
It's nothing to do with your parenting. My 8 year old has just been diagnosed with DX (severe) I, like you, knew something wasn't right.
I was told - he's a boy. It'll click etc etc.
In the end I sought help from a specialist dyslexic teacher who assessed Wil for me with a full report and explanation of her findings. The best thing she said to me was "If you as a mother think something's wrong then 99% of the time there is.." I wish someone had said that to me 4 years ago.
I had to pay for this service, which I realise I'm fortunate to be able to do, and it shouldn't be this way but I would thoroughly recommend it. The report that came with the results is fantastic. I feel all my concerns have been validated.
I also think Wil has mil ADD/ADHD or possibly autism and it seems there's always a mix of a few possible things.
I too told William off for playing and fidgeting when we were trying to do his homework and I used to get soooooooo frustrated when reading. It's so nice to be able to praise him now for all his little milestones.
Do you also find that you have to explain over and over that DX does not stop with reading and writing. Wil has countless problems at home with retaining lists of things to do, mood swings and low self-esteem (which I also blamed myself for before).
Sorry to go on and on...and on but I'm very excited about this site.
Good luck hope to here from you soon. x
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