“Oliver was my first child (we now have Thomas, 6, too), so I didn’t really think much of his abilities. It was only when I talked to other parents that I realised it wasn’t 'normal' for a 3-year-old to know all his times tables. Oliver went to a brilliant nursery who were amazed by his skills and were incredibly supportive. At age 4 he was diagnosed with Asperger’s, which means that his development is slightly skewed. His social skills are 18 months behind the norm for his age, but his academic skills are highly advanced.
“Before Oliver went to primary school, we asked our local education authority to assess him for a statement of special educational needs. The educational psychologist he saw said that she was blown away by his abilities. He has a reading age of 13+ and is currently studying for a maths GCSE at the age of seven.
“Oliver was allocated 15 hours of educational support every week, to encourage his giftedness and help with his Asperger’s. But our local primary school seemed unable, and at times unwilling, to address Oliver’s needs. After a disheartening term of battles, which eventually ended with his teaching assistant refusing to talk to me, Neill and I made the decision to send him to a private Montessori primary school. Although we have had to make sacrifices to afford the fees, Oliver gets on fantastically and is really happy there.
“It can be difficult to be a parent of a child who is gifted and has special needs. It’s hardest when he asks, “Mummy, can you help me convert this decimal into a fraction?” or “What’s the Spanish for ‘glad’?” He learns so quickly that it’s hard to keep up – but luckily he’s good at reading and researching things himself.
“I don’t think Oliver thinks of himself as 'gifted'. We’ve always told him that although his abilities are quite remarkable, virtually everyone has a special set of strengths (as well as challenges). We want to support Oliver in the same way that any parent supports their child – by listening to him and giving him time. We try to give him the opportunity to pursue his interests; we recently bought him a second-hand keyboard because he taught himself how to read music and wanted to play.
“We spend quite a lot of time helping Oliver develop his social skills, which are affected by his Asperger’s. Gifted children often have problems fitting in with children their own age, so we’ve made this a real priority. Oliver is a perfectionist, like a lot of gifted children, so we also try to help him understand that making mistakes helps him to learn.
“I think the biggest battle for parents of gifted children is to make sure they are getting the best education for their child. Good communication between you and the school is vital. A gifted child who is bored will either switch off or become disruptive and waste their talents. It can be hard work – but it’s totally worth the fight.”