Relaxation techniques for parents

Recently, baby-carrier company Wilkinet released research confirming what every parent knows: being a mother is back-breaking. It highlighted how pregnancy, cuddling and carrying young children can put the pelvic muscles under stress, leading to backache for many years later.

International speaker and author on family life and relationships Rob Parsons says, “Parenting is a long-haul business. Don’t exhaust yourself.”
It sounds comical but is actually very good advice. “Have time apart from the kids,” says Rob. “If you give yourself completely, they get less.”

This isn’t very easy to do, of course. As parenting charity Parentline Plus points out, “Most of us have had a lifetime of being told it's selfish to think about ourselves and so we may not even know what we need, let alone be able to ask for it.”

But thinking about yourself doesn't mean not caring about other people – it just means caring for yourself as well as others.

“If you want to give your children what they need from you, you need to look after yourself too,” advises Parentline Plus. “You can't do the best for your children if you're running on empty.”

• Don’t feel guilty about wanting to take some time out for yourself to recharge your batteries. It may just be a long bath or soaking your feet while watching your favourite soap uninterrupted.
• Think about your own interests and doing something for yourself once a week, such as an evening class or exercise session. Even small treats will make a difference, such as having a lie-in, reading a paper, going to the local gym, or meeting up with a friend. If you are a lone parent, you could ask a friend to babysit and offer to return the favour.
• Book some time in for yourself rather than filling every available minute doing chores. Sit and read a magazine in your lunch hour rather than tearing around the shops or pop around to see a friend while the children are at school.
• Be realistic – there's no such thing as the perfect parent - it's about doing your best and being good enough.
• Ask for help – let other people know clearly and directly what you would like.